Releasing Blame and Taking Ownership

Our ego exists within us to help keep us safe as we go through our lives. I understand this to be related back to life before modern civilization, where early humans were dealing directly with the elements and predators in our environment. Now that we mostly live in safer bubbles of homes and communities, our ego is still present and takes on a different level of protecting us. Sometimes, this is for our benefit, but often it can take away an opportunity for us to learn and grow. As a spiritual being, I do not believe in the complete eradication of ego- it is necessary in some respects. What I personally strive for is a BALANCED ego, where I can choose to step out from behind it’s protection and learn more about who I am and how the Universe works when I desire to.

Recently, I have been exploring the concept of blame. I discovered that blame was an underlying theme through much of my life, even after I thought that I had stepped out of the victim story of my youth. Blame is a stealthy tool of the ego, because it sneaks in and protects us from needing to hold ourselves accountable when things go other than we desire. (Note: I do not say “when things go WRONG”, because while things may not go according to OUR plan, they do indeed NEVER go “wrong.” Such is the beauty of the Universe that we live in!) When we hold on to blame, pointing the finger externally to justify the choices that we have made, it builds to become resentment. This is a deep, dark energy that can be a very destructive internal force, blocking aspects of our beautiful selves from emerging fully.

So what does it take to get away from this habit of blame? For me, the first step was to FORGIVE MYSELF. Easy to say, but it took some deep digging to accomplish. I looked at the concept that things had gone WRONG, and discovered that was another way that my ego was showing up. By saying that things had gone wrong, I was also subtly suggesting that MY plan and MY way had been the RIGHT way. But what if- WHAT IF- Spirit had a different plan? Wow. What if Spirit’s plan was exactly how it all unfolded, and all of my self-blame was completely unfounded, a product of ego? Wow. That realization was a HUGE wake-up call for me. And it was the key that allowed me to unlock forgiveness for myself, finally.

But I still hadn’t dealt with this blame and resentment, had I? The beauty of what unfolded next is that these feelings just began to fade away. Once I let go of anger with myself, I didn’t have any fuel left to need to blame anyone else. And then, I began to see more clearly what role I had played all along. I started to remember certain moments along the way where I had shown up less than fully engaged. I could see the times when I hadn’t asked for what I needed, expecting someone to just read my mind and know. I could see the times when I was upset that other people hadn’t supported me, but I wasn’t showing up in support of myself!

You would think that finally taking ownership would feel bad, that I might feel regret or beat myself up that I had played a part in how everything went. Well, I am SO excited to tell you that, because I have forgiven myself already, I actually feel RELIEF to see the ways in which I could have done things differently. It feels WONDERFUL to take ownership for my own actions, and use the lessons to create awareness to be different NOW.

So, in conclusion, I’m wondering if there are seeds of blame and resentment that YOU are carrying around with you. Can you accept that everything went exactly as it should have? Can you step out of ego’s illusion that you did anything WRONG, and truly forgive yourself? I know that you can, and if you are willing to just let this shift take place, there is so much beauty and self-awareness waiting for you on the other side. Let go of blame and resentment, and begin to put your energy towards all of the beautiful work that you are here to bless the world with!

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